It is possible that from the age of 12 your children will experience certain changes that you must learn to deal with. If your little son with whom you played at all times has grown and is shown as an unknown to you: disobedient, discourteous and irresponsible, probably because he is facing the transition from childhood to adolescence.
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Adolescence is a stage of biological, psychological and social changes; so you must assume with a lot of patience so that it does not affect the father-son relationship.
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When it starts?
Adolescence is a vital period between puberty and adulthood, begins at 12 or 13 years and its duration depends on each person (usually until 17 or 18 years). It is a stage where young people can do many things, but they do not have the capacity for full understanding, so they act with rebelliousness and think about fleeing their homes or leaving at all times with their friends. However, not everyone behaves in the same way, there are some more calm and familiar.
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An investigation carried out by the Salk Institute in California in the United States, revealed that it is during this stage when the human brain determines what its genetic configuration will be like for the rest of life, hence, between these ups and downs and changes, immaturity dominates.
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According to the study, the activity of genes in the brain changes from birth to the end of adolescence. Manuel Esteller, co-author of the research, explains that: "All our neurons have practically the same DNA, but the genes that are activated in each one change with age."
Psychological Changes in Adolescence
The psyche and emotions of adolescents are at this moment a mixture of doubts, contradictions and insecurities. They usually act with pride, they do not know what they want, they are bitter or obstinate, they react with stubbornness, they talk little or much, they argue only to win, they seek to overthrow the parents believing to strengthen their autonomy and independence and are irresponsible with their chores..
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These attitudes are rejected by parents. The recommendation in those moments is to listen to them with patience and respond with affection. Even if you do not share your interests and tastes it is important that you act firmly when it comes to inculcating respect for the family and the responsibility you must have with your tasks and personal safety.
Biological aspects
At this stage the body changes are seen, the hair appears, pimples are produced, the first menstruation occurs and the size of the breasts increases in the girls and the males begin to ejaculate and their voice hardens.
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All these changes generate insecurity and bewilderment in young people because they make them look different and, in turn, awakens the desire to be well seen by others.
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Sexual maturation also incites attraction to the other sex. The problem is that many see this activity as an adventure for which it is worth taking risks and it is at this point that sex education must reach them effectively to avoid the spread of sexually transmitted diseases or an unwanted pregnancy.
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Both parents and educators should offer adolescents clear and complete information where responsible, safe and pleasant sex prevails.
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In the same way, as young people need to exploit their new body or physical appearance, it is advisable to practice some sport.
Adolescence: Long Term Education
The education of children must be projected into the future, fostering solid foundations where they deprive respect, affection, love, understanding and even complicity sometimes, so that they protect these values and reproduce them in adulthood.
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If good relationships are maintained from a young age, the most likely thing is that everything continues normally when reaching adolescence; otherwise, the docile child will give way to a young man of difficult and distant character.
How to help them?
- Pay attention to your emotions, feelings, body and social relationships.
- Keep an open communication before any circumstance.
- Listen to them with patience.
- Give them equal shares of freedom and responsibility.
- Be flexible or firm when appropriate.
- Put yourself in place to understand their attitudes.
- Promote activities with them in order to know them more.
- Respect them and demand them the same.
- Promote bonds of trust.
Relationship between parents and children
During this time the adolescent tends to break his relationship with parents, substituting his influence for his group of friends or schoolmates. That is why they can begin to have a relationship with alcohol or drugs. In the same way, as his mind is more dispersed and his interest in studying is affected by other factors, his school performance changes negatively.
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