All professions are important, but there is certainly nothing in this world that compares to the job of being a father. Raising a child is much more difficult than writing a manual for young families. You never know that spoken words or deeds can traumatize our children and affect them for the rest of their lives. Especially if it's about the fragile self-esteem of girls. Making mistakes is human, but for at least not serious mistakes, experts in the field and psychologists recommend a number of things you should never tell your daughters.
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Raising a child, or daughter, is a complex and demanding task. However, these tips will help you very much not to damage your daughter's self-esteem and avoid future complications that may damage your professional and personal life in the future. Many times we underestimate the power of words. Even things that are apparently small or insignificant can damage the psyche, which is forming, of your daughter and set negative attitudes. Therefore, do not stop applying this list of advice in raising your daughter.
1. "You are too small for that"
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Most of the girls, who are just beginning to walk, want to play at being mothers and imagine a dream wedding, a fairy tale. They also ask the question "What will I be when I grow up?" In fact, very consciously, and even with arguments. Psychologists recommend that: do not discourage your child by saying " You are too small to think that way ", even if you are still very young and naive. As a consequence, this negative phrase will later become a dangerous psychological formula. "You're not good enough for that."
2. "Do something simpler "
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Maybe not everyone can become a great artist or an exceptional dancer. But certainly no one would have succeeded, without dedication and faith in himself. Find the capacity of a child, listen to him, and help develop his soul. If the success does not live up to your expectations, never show disappointment and do not advise " change for something simpler." Psychologists indicate: as long as the child makes his chosen activity and makes him happy let him be . The "success" will come later. You should say : " Try to be patient and everything will be fine. "
3. "This is only for men"
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Although we are in the age of gender equality, we still try to keep the children in the usual round of division into "boys" and "girls". But the world is changing, both in the field of work, career opportunities and sports activities. Psychologists recommend: to the girls of the future to let them adapt to life in the big world, to know them, and from an early age, to understand and support them. Not only in the kitchen with dinner, also with the car in the garage. You have to say: "Just do what suits you and enjoy."
4. "You're wasting your time"
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This phrase applies a lot to the adolescent child. Especially with the girls. You may think that a girl playing the guitar is a waste of time and without hope. "It is better to dedicate yourself to your studies". Does it sound familiar to you? Psychologists warn that it does not matter to protect the child from what seems to be ineffective, it is better to let them find their own way. It is possible that mistakes are made, but it is good. This will fill your child's life (especially young people). And you never know when and in what situation it can be a useful experience. It is better to say: "Think well and trust what is necessary for you and go for it."
5. "It is not necessary, I will do it for you"
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This is probably the phrase of most parents. And, according to psychologists, one of the most malicious. In this way, you will be depriving your child of developing their qualities and this is very important – independence. If the child is completely homeless, try to trust and be patient. It should say instead : " Try it, do it for yourself. And if you can not, then we will do it together. "
6. "Girls do not behave"
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When the parents realize that they expect to have a daughter, their imagination begins to fly and immediately build the pink room, full of unicorns and cute little dresses with ruffles. But reality is making its own adjustments. They want to have a "princess" from an early age and ignore that they play with dolls and go out to play until their knees are broken. And that's fine If your daughter does not feel comfortable being like you, you should not torture her with your likes. Maybe she manifests her creativity, in choosing her clothes or a hobby. This does not mean that you are educating a bad person.
7. "It's nothing, do not bother about it!"
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Psychologists warn that parents often underestimate the problems and feelings of their children. The adult point of view for a child can be a real tragedy. And remember: children need to talk. On the other hand, girls trust their mother more than children. The phrase " that is such a small thing, do not bother!" In the minds of the descendants it will probably become a "do not understand me". And this can cause anger in your daughter. It should say : "I know how you feel. How can I help you? "
8. "Compare with others!"
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With the phrases " take the example of your sister or a celebrity " you are taking your daughter to a certain failure. As a result you will achieve total dissatisfaction and the worst is that you will think: "everyone is better than me". Psychologists are firm in this: you can not compare! And do not force the child to be someone who is not. What should be done: it is better to keep silent.
9. "Do not eat so much!"
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Many mothers are more concerned with the future of their daughters than even themselves. Surely you will take your "princess" to modeling courses or, worse, dance. And you will say " do not eat so much ", " girls do not eat much ", " or do you want to be fat? " This will cause a big health problem. Anorexia, bulimia, gastritis and ulcers – psychosomatic medicine – these diseases are often associated with parental problems. If you really care about your daughter's appearance, it's better to get used to sports and other physical activities.
10. "You are too much for him"
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Another of the sins that many parents commit, especially mothers with girls, is comparing siblings and saying that one is better than the other. All parents want their child to be happy in the future and to be a wonderful man. But criticizing constantly will lead to the opposite. Psychologists advise: the opinion of parents means much more than we think. If you really want your daughter's happiness, do not make her go back in life and let her shine on her own with her own points of view. It does not matter, if you are 15 or 35 years old.
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