To be able to say 'I love you' you must first learn to say 'thank you', and this simple act is not as easy as it seems. Love and gratitude should be expressed in a simpler way.
Be grateful |
 |
Laura remembered a phrase that her grandfather often told her: 'Of being well born is being grateful'. At the moment it had a special significance, because now that she felt good about herself, she could thank what some people had done for her. He remembered that phrase because he felt he had been reborn after a psychoanalysis he had come to get out of a depression in which he was sinking. . He had arrived at the broken treatment, as if his interior was composed of the puzzle pieces of a puzzle, and he had managed to build it, join ideas and feelings, make a coherent image of himself. There he learned not to feel guilty for pursuing what he wanted, to stop loving the one who hurt him and to estimate who did him good, to do with the other creative and non-destructive exchanges. He learned to fight, not to ask for more than they could give him and to accept his own and others' weaknesses. . It broke with the fantasies and family myths that had placed her in a demanding and uncomfortable place. He understood his childhood and found out why he had always been trying to make merits to be accepted. |
Knowing ourselves inside |
 |
Now she did not need to like anyone, she was true to herself. He learned to love because he began to love himself. In relating her life on the couch, she had discovered that within her there was another life that was as her own as it was unknown. That discovery had made her stronger and more free. She had learned the healing power of truth, because before it was composed of lies because it responded more to the wishes of others than to their own. In some measure, he had been reborn and this time he had done well: that is why he had the ability to thank what he had received in the treatment. . Gratitude, like love, needs a psychological maturity that has led us to know our limitations and to love ourselves for them, as well as to know what we need from others and what they can give us. Now, asking and accepting what the other offers us is also recognizing what we lack. . The ability to love and feel gratitude is born in the first years of our life. "Every happy person owes a debt of gratitude to his mother," says pediatrician and British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, and he has it because that mother has done a job as important as it is generous for her mental health: it has taught her to love herself and to affirm herself in his identity, allowing him to separate from her and learning to exchange with other useful experiences to understand his world. |
The ability to love |
 |
According to the psychoanalyst Melanie Klein, the feeling of gratitude is one of the most important derived from the capacity to love, it is essential in the structuring of the relationship with the other and it occurs when goodness can be appreciated. Its root lies in the emotions and attitudes that occur in the earliest periods of childhood, when the mother is the only object that exists. . . This bond is the basis for all subsequent relationships with the loved one. There are professionals to whom we can be grateful because they have provided us with well-being: doctors, psychologists, lawyers, people we trust and in whose hands we put ourselves if our confidence is gained. The relationship with them sometimes evokes the child situation of dependency that we had with our parents. The gratitude to all of them is born of the human exchange that occurs when they give us what they have and we give them what we do not have. . In love one tends to possess the other and therefore is sometimes ambivalent. In gratitude there is no tension that is given in love because you always recognize what the other has given you. That debt can not be paid with anything material but with gratitude, a feeling that enriches both the one who feels it and the one who receives it. Who has not felt gratitude is difficult to love. |
The keys |
| It is convenient to be grateful to the people we love, because it will make both feelings last. .
. |
| PARENTS When we get to thank them for the gift of life, we can love them as they are, because we have probably stopped waiting for them to be as we would like. . . PARTNER . CHILDREN . FRIENDS . |
0 Response to "Let's Talk About Feelings: Love And Gratitude"
Yorum Gönder